Intentionality is a buzz word for me that I will explain in greater detail in later posts. For now I will reveal that one of the most affronting things I have dealt with in the past few months is accusations that I was living/existing without integrity. I have always thought of myself as reliable, dependable guy and to be accused of such a thing was hard to take.
What it essentially meant was that I was doing things outside of agreements that I have made with other people: so, essentially, undeniably living without integrity. The situation I had agreed to was that I would finish my work before I went for my time off, yet a situation arose where it was more convenient for me to duck into town as soon as my time off started, get my errands done and then come back to finish my work. Unfortunately I was caught in the act and confronted about it. At first I was defensive (natural reaction), then I was bitter, then I became understanding, and finally I appreciated how and why it happened and learned from the whole scenario. As part of my counselor training I have been taught about living with integrity, and empathy: recognizing the emotions behind a criticism and personal attack may be bigger than personal slander.
I was disappointed with myself today when our mentor, Randy, caught me retelling a story when I mentioned that I had told a kid: "Why don't you just try wall 1?" (In reference to the climbing wall, which is difficult). He pointed out that I asked "why?" and that this was essentially challenging someone to work out their motivations, I had said "just": implying that wall one was less of an accomplishment and that if he didn't succeed he would have failed, and I said "try" as if I had no confidence in his ability to complete it. Of course this was not my intention when I said it, and it was a harmless throw-away sentence: so why did I say it? And did I say what I really meant?
Communicating in this lifetime has gotten a lot more complicated, and I am eager to master this new way of speaking and to convey my intention (there it is) more accurately. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?♠
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